I want a girlfriend, god damnit
I've got so many things to say
staring at the empty bed beside me
I guess it's way too much to ask
traipsing through daisy fields in the fall
flowers coughing out their last
beauty in the air like so many before
them I feel about two inches tall
the walk home feels way too fast
throw on a god damn shawl
pitch up a tent right here fuck
this shit, bleeding out in bed
where all my words swamp me out
run endless circles around my head till I
spin off the course and fly straight
into a tree got
no place to go and my words
don't even seem to circle around what I want
to know! I can't come close and
what little safe harbor I find in
my guitar feels nice but just can't fix this can't fill
in the side of my bed the side of my head
I'm stark-crazy and afraid
feel no safety in the void in
describing all the profound things around
I'm an island trying to feel out other lands
it just doesn't seem to work
and then it comes around again
hellfire and scurge of nonexistence
scratching biting searching
afraid of a stray cat afraid of all pain
afraid I have no one to
feel pain for and afraid that
if I did I would be too pussy even for
them and oh that brings us right back around
can't order words well enough
"pussy" knows better than I do a
woman has that deep perception
but why oh why can't I find it?
sitting on that chair in that cafeteria
poor lunch lady with the mole ladeling out soup material
to those beautiful slender faced girls
with heartbreaking smiles like the humming
of a wasp
what bitter sweetness in the drive of a snowflake
falling by some absurd chance upon the
desert
what raw power contrived to place them
here to deny them of me and me of them?
to drive my hands wearily into my pockets
and send me on my way
hidden behind their sly laughter I
know it must be but the
black road looks on plainly
and says nothing to me.
